For a long time, I have been at a crossroad in my life. It is time to make a choice, instead of sitting on the fence railing and not doing anything. You see, I used to be a Christian. About a year ago, I began questioning my faith and my God and Jesus. It all started while singing along with a song on the radio. One of the verses said; “praying to a god that I don’t even believe in.” When I realized what I had sung, I immediately covered my mouth and looked up like I was going to be struck down by lightning. After some time, I relaxed and admitted to myself that this was how I truly felt. It was a hard thing to admit, but I decided I was going to allow myself the time to really investigate my beliefs.
At first, it was exhilarating learning about different religions and beliefs. I found I was drawn to spirituality and the belief of one creator. I studied up on many ascended masters and this intrigued me and I began including them in my prayers. I learned about chakras and learned where mine were located and how to balance each of them during meditation. This led me to Reiki and I received a healing. It was quite interesting. It felt like energy that surged through each of my chakras. During one Reiki treatment, the Reiki Master cut chords I had to past relationships that were keeping me bound. I actually had visions of the people that were involved during my healing. Once the healing was over, she told me she cut some chords and explained what she meant by that. I told her about the visions I had and that it involved the same people that she was cutting the chords from. I also saw my spirit animal for the first time and it was a white tiger. Naturally, I had to look up what a white tiger animal totem meant to me on Google! You have to love Google!
I learned how to do Reiki on myself and would do it almost daily and also concentrated the energy on areas in my body that ached. Then I learned how to ground myself to mother earth to dissipate any negative energy that I may have picked up during the day. Through a counselor, I learned a meditation where I would expand my energy out as far as I could expand it to protect myself from negativity or negative forces. During one such meditation, I saw an image in my mind’s eye that looked like Jesus and looked like me at the same time. It was like we were one in the same person.
A friend of mine invited me to a group on Facebook with other like minded people in a closed group. We experimented through prayer, readings, and then with psychic readings. To my surprise, when prodded by my friend, I was asked to psychically read the others in our group. I surprised myself. I was able to pick up on something for each person in our group that I didn’t know about them. This shocked me. I learned to trust my intuition more and speak up if something needed to be presented to one of the members. During this time I learned how to invoke Archangel Michael and other archangels during my nightly chakra attunements. During one of these attunements, I was able to see my light body for the first time floating above me. This was amazing to say the least.
Eventually, the group ended. Since then, I began to slack off of praying, meditating, grounding myself, and balancing my chakras. I searched and searched for like minded people like me and haven’t found many people with the same beliefs as I have. My faith began to fade and I began to doubt my beliefs. It was a conundrum. On one hand, I didn’t believe in Jesus and Christianity any longer, but I also wouldn’t allow myself to believe in the creator, the archangels and ascended masters either. I realized today that I was afraid to make a choice because I didn’t want to make a serious mistake. I chided myself and asked myself why I had to be so different from other’s all the time. It did make me pause because it wasn’t the first time in my life where I did the opposite of what other’s did. I don’t take pleasure in being different and believe me, it would be easier if I could be part of the pack.
After some serious thought, I decided that I am going to continue with my belief in a creator, the archangels and the ascended masters. If I could turn back to Christianity, I would, but every fiber of my being knows that my beliefs aren’t there anymore. So today, I rededicated myself back to my spiritual walk, even if I have to do it alone.
I have read on more than one occasion to be still and all the answers I seek are inside of me. So I meditated for about a half hour this morning. Prior to meditating, I asked for a sign that I was on the right path. I also asked that my life purpose would be revealed to me. My phone rang at 9:19 this morning. I looked up this angel number and it said I was at the start of my spiritual journey and that my life purpose is leading, compassion, and generosity. The angel number was also verification that the angels were there with me. It encouraged me to let go of the old. So I am letting go of my old beliefs. Honestly, the only reason I was holding on to my old beliefs were because they were familiar and I missed the people from my church. I thought about going back to the church, but knew I couldn’t fake something I didn’t believe in any longer.
Tomorrow is a new day.